MAYBE, BECAUSE

I walk around the school hallways and look at the people. I look at the teachers and wonder why they're here. If they like their jobs. Or us. And I wonder how smart they were when they were fifteen. Not in a mean way. In a curious way. It's like looking at all the students and wondering who's had their heart broken that day, and how they are able to cope with having three quizzes and a book report due on top of that. Or wondering who did the heart breaking. And wondering why.

/The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Stephen Chbosky

-

The clouds were pretty ystd, and today too. They looked so fluffy I wanna die !! Haha

Summer's coming to an end. Cant believe I'm left with three weekends. And I dont know how I'm gng to spend it. Meet him; meet her; meet them; meet you. I want to meet people and I want to do things, but I dont really want to make any plans. Call me lazy, I dont like being the planner. It's such a stressful thing to do for the last few weeks; it's a holiday afterall. I think I need to hire a summer holiday planner next time or sth haha, and for now, I'll just live by each day (please dont judge me).

Maybe, because.
The night sky today looks more red than usual.

And if all else fails you can look up at the sky
Because it's the same one that shines above you and I.

Young boys should never be sent to bed,
they always wake up a day older.

/Finding Neverland

-

Am in the process of replacing all my shoulds with coulds. Why, expectations ruin everything.

Am looking at Justine's pictures of last night now, while waiting for Kengs and Kim to finish their lunch hehe :D Really liked the place last night.







Thats why.

If you're a friend of Wei Lin, you should learn driving. So you can bring her to ulu (or inconvenient) but fantabulous places. (I can imagine Justine gng 'dont be such a cheapo can', but I think the noun used here is wrong, lazybum shld be the word) hahaha ok but of course, even if you know how to drive, it doesnt mean you've got a car or bike to drive around right. So if you are a friend of Wei Lin, you should rly not be as lazy as her so you can persuade her (and not be swayed by her laziness) to go to ulu (or inconvenient) but fantabulous places with you via the train, bus or legs hehe

(In case you were wondering, she doesnt know how to drive, and even if she does, she relies on her feelings more than maps.

(IN)CURIOSITY KILLED THE CAT

Knowing unknowingly. Unknowingly knowing.
It seems like these days, knowing more, does not lead me to better things. Rather, I am left dazed and confused. I think I know what I want (then again, what do I know, this is just what I think.), but a small part of me still wavers. Ohwell. Please excuse me.

Anyhows, Justine drove me to, and surprised me with a fabulous place today; EGG3. (Definitely made up for the disappointment we had when we arrived at JW to find that the banmian stall has already closed.) She refused to tell me where we were gng, I thought she was gna kidnap me hahaha (if you were there, you'd have thought the same okay) ! The food is damn awesome; love the sausages :D And we were the only two in the cafe, so we basically treated it like our house; sat on the floor, and lay on the couches wveehee. Then it was to Chompchomp, before Frolick-ing (:

Kim is scolding nagging at me; I should sleep. Bye !

How fickle my heart and how woozy my eyes
I struggle to find any truth in your lies
And now my heart stumbles on things I don't know
This weakness I feel I must finally show

Liars is all you’re gonna run across in this world. A man has got to learn the difference between just plain liars, and liars worth lovin’.

/Adam

-

I finally sent my camera for repair. And I wont have it with me for a week omgg :s And my stomach still feels so bloated from having laksa for breakfast (and thats like 7hours ago).

LET'S SAY,

"And let’s say I took your hand in a crowd because I thought you were someone else. I would be the girl with messy hair, but I don’t even know what you look like. I fall over a lot, so maybe I fell. grabbed your shoulder, your wrist, your elbow; you saved my life. let’s say violins were playing. they never play in real life, but this isn’t real life I’m talking about anyway. maybe not violins, a single piano harmony, a cello, a silence more beautiful than any manufactured sound. I would stutter out a thank you, a hello, or maybe I’d just smile and let my body do whatever it is bodies in love do.

Sometimes it’s hard for me to believe in anything, let alone people. the spaces in between my words always spell out a goodbye. there’s no romanticism in it, no poetry or beauty, there is just endless talk of sad things, of things I’ve always been afraid to say.

Somehow this all leads to me telling you the story of my life. I’ve never been good at telling stories; I get sidetracked. I get annoyed at myself and I forget what I’m trying to say. sometimes I lie. sometimes I tell the truth, but I make it sound like a lie. and what happened that summer when you were fifteen? you would ask me, trying to get me back when I suddenly stop speaking. I would shake my head, all things forgotten and far gone, and start over. maybe a few hours later I would remember, grab bits and pieces and make them fit together again. I would say, I went to the fair and ate five caramel apples, or, that was when I lost everything.

I leave a trail behind me wherever I go. it’s not that I want to find my way back, just in case, or even that I just want someone to find me, for once. it’s just that I like the feeling of being remembered. I feel it. I feel it like leftover sweetness.

It gets dark, cold. you wouldn’t offer me your coat because you’re just not that kind of guy. besides, your coat would look terrible on me anyway. we stand a distance apart, our favorite books and photographs in between us. that distance keeps me from running. that distance keeps it safe. it’s beautiful here, you would say. or maybe I would say it. or maybe it goes without saying. streetlights and stars, cement and water, foundations of beauty."

/colinh

7YEARS

"That does it for me, then. I'm not going to believe in any damned revolution. Love is all I'm going to believe in."

"Peace," I said.

"Peace," said Midori.

/Norwegian Wood, Haruki Murakami

-

Met up with Pow wee lik finally, since forever. Had amazing fish, great talk, and a ride on his bike. It's been a year; either his driving skill has improved, or I've become bolder haha it was awesome, to have made friends with the wind ahaha

AMADEUS

Mozart: Sire, only opera can do this. In a play if more than one person speaks at the same time, it's just noise, no one can understand a word. But with opera, with music... with music you can have twenty individuals all talking at the same time, and it's not noise, it's a perfect harmony!

/Amadeus

-

I dont think I can ever listen to Mozart's music the same way anymore hahahaha but after watching it, I'm even more in love with Gran Partita !! Great film to watch. Whether or not you're a fan of Mozart. I miss MEP. Kinda. Alittle, haa

Tennis at SICC ystd was great; havent had a good workout in a long while. But super cui, I woke up this morning with rly bad body aches :s but they're gone now hehe.

I wore my jeans with both sides rolled up to the YOG soccer match, but my left side kept unrolling itself (which leads me to believe that my left calf is smaller than my right) so I decided to leave it hahaha ok abit random.



Anyway, it was an exciting match between Singapore and Montenegro. Glad that I went aha, will try to post up the pictures asap !!

Bright Star soundtrack playlist (:

SEPARATE WAYS

So strange and vast the space between us,
I never knew of Mars and Venus until now,
I, thought whole world revolved around us
You and I with paint and canvas, words and standards,
And yet, somehow, it never came to pass,
So broad were the shoulders that lift and carry others,
And so narrow were the minds of lovers,
And we were like the fables, lifted from the pages of the Middle Ages,
But what was our has faded,
Still, we turn gazes into paintings and feelings into words and phrases,
So strange and vast, the space between the present and the past,
Tell me what you want is it what your said and what you mean?
We were feeling daze when first we heard the phrase,
Go out separate ways
Go out separate ways
Go out separate ways

If only I was.
(Yiling once told me that I'm like a monster when I'm angry hahahahahhaha)

Boy, do I not like yue jing.
DIRISAAAAAAA

You know. It seems like I've been spending my holidays uploading pictures on facebook hahahahaha so today's a good day cos I finally managed to do some work. Just two pages of drawings hahahahaha not much, but still.

Justine gave me homework today haha, she asked me a tough question which I've been thinking about recently as well.

Anyhows, Singapore is so small, I met Nabil today at Cityhall station haha and I've met lik Ammanda Caroline Cinli Gelin and Gordon on the streets since I came back ! Okay, mayb not A LOT of people, just six.. but still haha

And today was like yesterday. Sian --> (Y)
It was super sian, cos I woke up to find out I wont be gng for the YOG soccer game -.- but the night ended better than how the day started, and I'm gng for the finals on Wednesday so yah aha. Not like I REALLY-definitely-omgg want to go, but last-minute changes which affect all your other plans) makes me........

I hope your day ended well too.. (actually, more like, I hope your day will be good tmr) if not, I hope this does it



Hahahahahahahahahahahaha

"I think that if I ever have kids, and they are upset, I won't tell them that people are starving in China or anything like that because it wouldn't change the fact that they were upset. And even if somebody else has it much worse, that doesn't really change the fact that you have what you have."

/The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Stephen Chbosky

-

Anyway, I watched Inglorious Basterds last night. It actually wasnt on my movie list cos both Derrick and someone else (Shiming, is it ?) watched it and told me it was a waste of time haha, but my brothers were screening it on the tv from the laptop when I reached home last night (woop woop). Andddd, I actually really enjoyed it ! Haha, Christoph Waltz is really good !

Listening to The Smiths now. Two songs are on replay haha
I feel so full. Ate too much for lunch.

Aye. Less than a month left. Dont like.

"The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays."
/Søren Kierkegaard

-

It has been a good week.
Prayer meetings were good.

Brokenness, submission, and total surrender.

& THE RAIN IN MY HEAD

Does everyone seem taller than usual? She said & I said that's what happens when you stop pretending you don't care.

/storypeople.com

I dint want to be involved initially, but after reading her recent posts (more like attacks actually) on my favourite girl Esther Debra Leong, I feel angry lah haha, need to say sth esp after reading statements like "No matter how much you try to prove to me I still think you are trash (trash bags are black too) hahahahhahaha"

"Only God judges me, not you. I think you're the sort of believer who don't even feel remorseful/sinful for outrightly spouting nonsense about people. Pretentious." - This made me cringe. Arent you judging her as well.. if you rly think she's judging you, all I can think is pot calling the kettle black, much ?

If you're questioning her motive and think that she's saying things to make you feel bad, shldnt you also question yourself when you keep harping on her retaining.

And if you think that she's not pretty and hence, is in no position to say that you're ugly, do you then think you're very pretty when you say things like "Buck toothed fat face with trashy hairstyle." and "sorry, even my bf says you have a fuck face."


(Yigal Azrouel, BCBG, and Jeremy Laing)

Regarding fashion sense and style.
Okay. You probably think that I'm her friend so obviously I'll think her dressing's damn good, and according to what you said about being "fashionable or not having wardrobe malfunction is not for you to say for yourself. IT'S FOR OTHERS TO SEE AND JUDGE HAHAH 不要脸 ttm." (I know the last part of the quote is irrelevant, but I just think it's amusing haa) I've seen it, and judged it. But what I dont understand is, does this 'others' exclude her ? I believe she has seen your dressing and judged it, and hence, resulting in you making that statement.

Okay, but to be objective.
Everyone dresses differently, and lik, fashion is always changing so we cant exactly rely on what's the trend now etc to judge who's good or not. I think what's most important is that you wear what suits you and makes you look good. So if she can make "Super wtf hairstyle and erm ugly black and vintage garbage draping" on her look good (which she does), her style is good. I mean, if something doesnt look good on you, and someone else wears it, it doesnt mean that that someone else has bad fashion sense and style..

Lastly.
"I thought you didn't want to care about me, why read my blog, why bother about the content? Why are you starting another round of personal attack? Too free? Or don't wanna study and wanna be retained again? What do you want to achieve out of all that you've said?"

Dont you think you shld ask yourself those questions as well.. I srsly think this whole thing's rly lame it's not even funny anymore.