"People always fall in love with the most perfect aspects of each other’s personalities. Who wouldn’t? Anybody can love the most wonderful parts of another person. But that’s not the clever trick. The really clever trick is this: Can you accept the flaws? Can you look at your partner’s faults honestly and say, ‘I can work around that. I can make something out of it.’? Because the good stuff is always going to be there, and it’s always going to pretty and sparkly, but the crap underneath is a test of your love"

LIBERATED

Haha this is me, usually..

But now that time in London is getting tighter and tighter, I find myself finally doing the many things I have wanted to do for a while (four years), even if it means doing it alone (cos it's definitely much easier) which I have found quite liberating. The 'one day' or 'some day' never did came, until now..!

While I couldnt wait for the end of September to arrive, I was half-dreading for October to come, as it only means that my time in London is coming to an end.. But now that I've booked my tickets to what I've always wanted to do but never got a chance to do so due to laziness (there will always be tomorrowww.. not), financial reasons or just the whole hassle of finding people to go with, October is going to be an exciting month (even if it is only 2-3 days)!!

And before I go to sleep, here's a really cute commercial ad by Google chrome which I chanced upon!



Enjoy xx

AGAETIS BYRJUN

And then, I miss you most.

I miss you most. As in, out of the both of us, I miss you most. I miss you more than you miss me. And I miss you more than anyone misses you. I miss you most like I miss you more than all the times I have missed you. Or more than all the times I have missed you put together, I daresay. And I miss you most, out of everything else I miss. And if there is anything that is missing, it is you that makes most of the missing.



738 times and counting.

SO, IT'S BEEN A TWO MONTHS WHILE..

If you're still checking this blog, yes I'm still alive!
& here's a few updates.

I have graduated.
Kind of a yesterday thing already. Life has moved on so quickly, graduation has lost its novelty and I now letting the www know that I am sitting in front of my laptop in the living room of a flat belonging to a Chinese lady, thinking what to do with my life when I finally return to Singapore.



Yes, I have moved. Again.
Haha, every year I move house. The only area I have not yet lived in is the South of London. And I guess, the truly West.

I have got an internship too, which explains why I am still in London.

I've been going on a crazy Soap and Glory shopping spree.
I think it's the effect of resisting buying it for 3 years when I first noticed it while hanging around Boots. But now that is my last few months in London, why not? The packaging is very eye-catching; you'll definitely give it a second look when you walk by. Their marketing skills' very good, the names they come up with for their products just makes giggle and open your heart to their products haha I'm lazy to put up images, but google it and you will know what I mean!

Also, when I use their products, I feel a little bit more girlie, a little bit more fun, and a little bit more glamorous hahaha. I actually look forward to washing my face, and moisturising my body rofl. But it does work.. so far. I cant stop touching my face these few days cos it's so soft hahaha

Actually, to be honest. It's not just S&G, I've been buying more health and beauty products. I guess I realised I am not going to stay/look young forever. Yeh, maybe I'll still look like a 16year old, but I dont want to look like a 16year old with huge eyebags, uneven skin tones and scaly legs o_o

Which leads me to my next point..
I recently purchased this thing called Bio Oil. Apparently it helps with scars, uneven pigmentation, stretch marks, moisturising, ageing skin- ok basically, it's a miracle oil for your skin. And I think it..works ?? My stretch marks seem to have lighten and this scar I have on my knee is still there but seems to have smoothened out- I say seem cos I dont know if my eyes are playing tricks on me, or you know sometimes you want something to work so much that you kind of tune your brain to think it really is working ??? Hahahaha ok anywayyyy, I guess I'll let you guys know lik say 3 months later!

And I'm so excited for next week!!!!! xx

CALL ME, MAYBE

:) Not just a birthday video, will miss this bunch of guys and the great times spent in London with them <3

PAPER BIRD

You picked me, an ordinary square.
Folded me, and made me your paper bird ♥

Our problem is that we hate change and love it at the same time.
What we really want is for things to remain the same, but get better.

/Sydney J. Harris

-

16 days to go omgg. This is going waayy too fast.
That said, I cant wait. Going to Camber sands on Tuesday for photoshoot (really hope it goes well X) and uh, a mini break haha and after that, I'll be whipping out one more fabric (or two if my warp allows) and chionging sketchbook work and design developments etcetera. Business cards, postcards, whatnots. Mock hang-up. Prepare assessment portfolio. Prepare show portfolio. Queen's Jubilee/Street part-y(or -ies if time allows). Burger and Lobster with Xiuf. Degree show. Cranberries concert. Watch dramas (got a whole lot of line-up XD). Catch up on TV. Find accommodation. Applications. Pack my life into boxes/sell everything. Crash with Annabelle. Convocation. Prague/Hungary/Romania. Olympics/Singapore House exhibition. HOME.

“At the end of the day, you either focus on what separates you…
or what holds you together.”

/The O.C.

SHUSH, MY HEART

“After all, what is happiness? Love, they tell me. But love doesn't bring and never has brought happiness. On the contrary, it's a constant state of anxiety, a battlefield; it's sleepless nights, asking ourselves all the time if we're doing the right thing. Real love is composed of ecstasy and agony.”

/The Witch of Portobello, Paulo Coelho

-

Why are we here, when we were going there?
My day ended as quickly as it started.
I dont know how to look forward.
Enough.. for today. I'm too afraid to even touch my phone.


Please tell me we are not parallels.
Heading for the same direction, but never meeting at a point.

Please tell me we are real love; that the reason for the agony, is the ecstasy.

More so recently, it seems that when I am about to sleep and end my day, I feel like I survived my thoughts. I am shock sometimes, by the amount and content of things going through my head every second I am awake. It is like an endless war raging. I get so tired thinking of everything and nothing.

 Maybe I am just stressed, my thought system is overworked.
(Intrusive thoughts, please go away)

Cant believe two weeks have passed like a day- only four more weeks, and I will probably not touch a weave loom again O_O (I do hope to own one in the future (and a knit machine and sewing machine), just for my own leisure use haha :D)

A nice kind of Sad..

“There it goes again. That heavy feeling in your chest when you don’t feel any desire to speak or move. All you want to do is close your eyes and sleep, because the process of being broken is incredibly exhausting. You attempt your best to make your days fulfilling, but no matter how hard you try you can’t seem to connect to anyone or anything.”

WE FOUND LOVE

It's like you're screaming, and no one can hear
You almost feel ashamed
That someone could be that important
That without them, you feel like nothing
No one will ever understand how much it hurts
You feel hopeless; like nothing can save you
And when it's over, and it's gone
You almost wish that you could have all that bad stuff back
So that you could have the good

Precisely.

/

Mercy: Hey, do you wanna go for lunch?
Me: The canteen? It's open and serving food?
Mercy: Yea, it is. Everything's as usual, it's like we're not on holidays.

Maybe thats why I've been sleeping an awful lot more these days.
Repeat (Wake up (I'm still here), go back to sleep)

Bad day, period.

And it's breaking over me,
A thousand miles down to the sea bed,
Found the place to rest my head.

Never let me go, never let me go.
Never let me go, never let me go.

And the arms of the ocean are carrying me,
And all this devotion was rushing out of me,
And the crashes are heaven, for a sinner like me,
The arms of the ocean deliver me.

“I don’t have a fear of commitment. I have a fear of abandonment. We all screw things up. I screw things up, especially with people I love. I get needy, I get moody, I get distant, I want to be close, I get confused. I don’t understand all of it, but I keep pushing because I hope this thing, this universe, there’s no way that I’m the only person out there who wants something this bad, if I want it, someone else out there must too.”

/eletheowl.tumblr

-
I think I spent the whole of today just missing you.
It's already an hour past the day and somehow yet, I do not want the day to end, for I would rather miss you than do anything else at this moment.

Mermaid Motel/ Oh Say Can You See/ Pawn Shop Blues/ Put Me in a Movie/

I am a dreamer. I know so little of real life that I just can’t help re-living such moments as these in my dreams, for such moments are something I have very rarely experienced. I am going to dream about you the whole night, the whole week, the whole year.

/White Nights, Fyodor Dostoyevsky

-

We've finally passed the halfway mark :) happy seventh month love ♥

I cant open my eyes.
My heart and my mind, my body, are in conflict.

It is,
that my heart ached even when I was asleep.
I wished I was awake and when I was, I wished I never woke up.
The world is moving on; I wish the morning stayed, but half the day has already begun.





But it is not just me, for I know it's we.

The perfect quote for a weave designer woohoot.

"I want to write on a rock I miss you and throw it at your face so you know how much it hurts to miss you."

/zenofawesome.tumblr

-

I wont actually do that.. I really miss you :'( This is actually much harder than I thought it would be, who knew three hours more could make such a huge difference.

ALWAYS,

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

/

be it 10495 miles or 8 hours apart,
♥ your valentine

It may be that when we no longer know what to do, we have come to our real work and when we no longer know which way to go, we have begun our real journey.

/Wendell Berry

-

Just took a look at my timetable. Three-ish more months to my final deadline. Five more months till I graduate. Twenty weeks of London, and the rest of UK/Europe/whereverIcouldhavtravelledto left. Omgg. That. Is. Fast. I only just turned year 3 !! D: The past few weeks have been a blur. I feel like a fat kid, only going out of the house for food (i.e. KFC). It's too cold, and why am I still sick !? Finally went to see the doc today haha

So not looking forward to being thrown out of the student life :(
But till then.. I am excited for Florence and the Machine in March, and Foster the People in April :D And I am looking forward to Summer already, bought myself a swimsuit already HAHA ohh yes.

There is this part of us, that we want to get rid of, but we can't. We see it in a mirror, every day. Or, as we fly by sky-scraper windows. Or the ones who describe us - the ones who remind us of us. Anti-narcissism is narcissism, at it's finest. We'll find it, through self hate, subconscious self indulgence, or even our leisurely daily ego trip.

/Elle Jay

And now, you'll have more room for happyness.
It will only get better,
Better together ♥

I told you your dreams would come true

“I waste at least an hour every day lying in bed. Then I waste time pacing. I waste time thinking. I waste time being quiet and not saying anything because I'm afraid I'll stutter.”

/It's Kind of a Funny Story, Ned Vizzini

“There are never enough ‘I love yous’.”
/Lenny Bruce

"Even though she doesn't believe in love, He's determined to call her bluff."

TILL-

Have been working on my dissertation.
But all I want to do is to stay in bed, float in memories and lose track of time till-