PRIMARY VISION

Group presentation finally done ystd :D

"Forgive me because I have spent my whole life crafting this little list of how it’s supposed to go when I meet somebody and as I’ve gotten older I’ve become more willing to make compromises. There’s only one real prerequisite left on the list for the man in my life… I have to love him."

/Ally Mcbeal

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I hope I dont have/get hayfever.. my eyes' been rly itchy the whole day :S

I was supposed to have sch tmr, but apparently, my tutors are going on a strike so thats great, and kind of scary at the same time. Anyhows, I'm gna watch Chicago tmr !! Aha, my first musical since I came to London (so slow, I know). I might be a tourist and go do touristy stuff tmr with Jiang as well.. but that depends on what time I'm awake sooo yeah. But for now, I'm gna continue my HIMYM marathon hehe :>

"Love doesn't make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile."
/Frank P. Jones

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YESYESYES I'VE FINALLY BOUGHT MY MGMT AND TWO DOOR CINEMA CLUB TICKETS HEHEHEHEHE CANT WAIT !! SHO EXCITINGZZ~



And something less exciting: The temperature hit 30 degree celsius today. THIRTY. Plus, there's no air-conditioning here. And so I wore what I thought I'll never wear in London. Just tshirt and shorts haha felt abit weird (since it's been a long time since my legs are exposed to outside air), but it's hot man even for me !



And something 100000000x more exciting: Asia Conference !! But boo, cant attend or cant watch :<

“I’m Mickey Mouse. They don’t know who’s inside the suit.”
/Keanu Reeves

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I apologise for the lack of interesting topics. I have to talk about the weather. It felt like Singapore today, esp when we were in Chinatown just now haha it even smells like Singapore. Or like when I was in Phuket. Serious. Oh, but apparently it's gna be cold soon agn before becoming hot agn..

It was nice though, to just lie on the grass and enjoy the sun during Production break. I even took a quick nap haha, and for awhile, it felt like the holidays were here.

I don't know. I don't know what I want.
I only know what I don't want.

/Vicky Cristina Barcelona

HAWT

Fanny Brawne: I still don't know how to work out a poem.

John Keats: A poem needs understanding through the senses. The point of diving into a lake is not immediately to swim to the shore but to be in the lake, to luxuriate in the sensation of water. You do not work the lake out, it is a experience beyond thought. Poetry soothes and emboldens the soul to accept the mystery.

Fanny Brawne: I love mystery.

/Bright Star

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I'm like, sweating now :S Not like, profusely or what. But I can feel the oil glands on my face. London's really hot right now. It's like we finally had Spring, but it lasted only 10 days before turning into Autumn, and now it's Summer. I know I really shldnt be complaining cos the weather in Singapore is worse.. but at least it's hot all the way right hahah as in, I just wish the change in weather here can be more gradual, instead of jumping from one season to another. I mean, just ystd, it was still cool, and all of a sudden, I'm sweating ! In my room ! Okay I'm exaggerating. But still.

Speaking of hawt stuff, watch this (which is totally epic) and then click this and vote for M5 Lionel Choong !!




Anywayyy
One project down, two more to go !

And yay, I'm finally gng down to Borough market tmr :D

It'd be nice to make lots of money but it's quite difficult, because every time I make lots of money I make a bigger piece that costs lots of money.
/Damien Hirst

Btw, Nandos just opened in Singapore at Bugis (or so I heard). Sooo, if you're in Singapore, GO TRY IT. My lifegroup dines there every week hahah I'm stamping my way to a free WHOLE chicken soon ! Oh, but their hottest chicken/sauce is really not that hot at all ? So if you're looking for something spicy, I'm afraid you'll be disappointed ! Unless maybe they have it catered to our Singaporean buds.. But anyway, apart from the chicken, you shld try their mash, portebello mushroom burger and ratatouille ♥

Good news for you, bad news for me; cos like what Jiayi said, now I cant bring Singaporean friends to Nandos when they come over to visit London HAIYAR.

Today, I felt like throwing away all my responsibilities and just do whatever I want. But it's really not about me. Everything. They're not about me, and my wants and needs. They're about God. And every time I think I'm doing fine, something just have to come up, and make me choose btw me myself and I, and God.

It's always a struggle for me; it's a constant battle between my flesh and selfish thoughts, and God. I was answering questions I was asking myself. Trying to convince myself that what I am doing is right. But really, it's not about what I think is right or wrong, or what I should do and should not do; rather, it's about loving God, pleasing Him, and obeying His will. Yknow sometimes, you just know His way is better and you know that He knows what's good for you and so you should really just follow what He says.. but you just wna try the other way whether is it because maybe this time you are right (haha), or to have a taste of it, or just to be rebellious (like how it is when your tchers/parents tell you not to do sth) ? Well yes, this is one of those days.

But yes, I am not living for myself, or others.
I am living for God.

Shall end with my favourite praise song (:
Love it esp when it's live !!

:(

I just found out I'm gna miss the Gorillaz agn !!! They're gna perform in London in mid-Sept but I wont be back by then !!! :( :( :(

Stuck in a past that isnt mine

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Happy Birthday Rodigro and Rhea (:
Had a feast at Rodizio Rico. I'd totally recommend the place if you're looking for good ambiance and authentic Brazilian food. I have never felt this full since ages.

Anyhows.
I've been saying Hi to the Not-so-nice side of me, alil more so these days than I'd like to. And I think I'm getting alil too self-absorbed as well. Also, I think I've been pretending that I'm more stupid than I actually am, so much so that I've really become really stupid. And it is not that my general knowledge is lousy; I dont have a general knowledge to speak of. But it's okay. I've been trying to read more proper news instead of news like Fattest/shortest/weird man in the world or _____ is getting married/a divorce/another baby. My other plan is to surround myself with ppl who are more intelligent than me (note that I say 'more intelligent' and not less stupid' cos yes, although I say I'm stupid, I'd still like to think I'm intelligent :> actually, a better word shld be knowledgeable haha), which I've been doing so unconsciously.. my lifegroup ppl (ahem, Adam) use words like peruse which I nv knew existed in the English dictionary and make jokes like mistaking me saying 'thai food' as 'typhoid' on purpose to see my reaction but obviously I dint had one, cos I dint know what that was.. (okay, please dont look so shocked) but now I do. Actually, I dont know whether he actually knew I dint know what that was and was doing that on purpose.. ah whtever. And my French class is actually helping me too, because my last assignment is to 'Describe a famous politician, economist, intellectual, activist or businessman (woman)' so that's good :>

I shld really get back to work !!!

"You make me confused, I make you confusional"

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I think it's pretty obvious my body clock's gone haywire. And watching Glee is not exactly helping. It's actually quite nice to watch. I adore Kurt, he's soo funny. And 'the other asian' hahaha he's like a calefare but he's kinda cute (I think.. he doesnt rly get much screen time and lines) and he's got some crazy dance moves soo yeah :>

PAPER DREAMS

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I figured.

A person has pain tolerance, which is the amount of pain that a person can withstand before breaking down emotionally and/or physically.

And he also has feelings tolerance; he can only feel so much before he cant feel anymore (or rather, he stops himself from feeling = numb).

Sadly, unlike how we can measure our pain tolerance using an instrument called the dolorimeter, we cant measure our feelings tolerance. Thats why we need an outlet for our feelings (both good and bad) and not keep everything inside, to make sure we dont hit our limit and stop feeling altogether. Though, some people just decide to freeze their hearts even before they reach their limit, cos sometimes it's so much easier to not invest feelings into things, people or places.

Just a theory.

HAPPY BAPTISM DAY ♥

Ben Jianhao Jorlyn Josephine Nicholas Sharon Yiling

Ah, I dint know so many of you guys are gna get baptised today !!!

Angela: Would you rather have fish or meat for dinner?
Émile Récamier: Fish.
Angela: What would you have preferred if you were having meat?
Émile: I dont know. Veal.
Angela: And if you were to have beef rather than veal, would you prefer a steak or a roast?
Émile: A steak.
Angela: And had you answered roast, would you prefer it rare or well-done?
Émile: Rare.
Angela: Well, honey, you're out of luck. My roast beef's a little overdone.

/Une Femme est Une Femme

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I wna visit the Borough market soon. Lik, tmr.

I finally got down to painting today. And I'm getting bored with my works and ideas and drawings and pretty much everything I have/did for the project :(

On a brighter note, I've got qte a high mark for my last essay ! An improvement of 23 marks from my first one :O So yay. Hopefully I can keep that up for my second year. Oh and I saw my marks for my French listening test the other day haha and guess what. I passed. HAHA, on the dot. I dont even know how I passed; all I know was, minutes before the teacher came round to collect it, my paper was lik blank and I just scribbled whatever words I thought the guy on the audio tape was saying (in English somemore hahaha cos my mind went blank and I cldnt rmb how to spell in French). Oh and I did pretty well for my presentation too, thanks to Bastien who edited my script and corrected all my mispronunciations :D

Anyway, I made a gif of one of my favourite scenes in Une Femme est Une Femme ♥



I always do that ! Hahah

Human Orchestra


Can a person feel too much, or feel too little ? Can one feel just enough ? But, how does one know if one's feeling just enough ?

And how do you know if what you feel is the right feeling you shld be feeling. Yknow, like theres the question of whether you shld feel this or that. And then, the question of whether is it right to feel this or that ? But we cant really control what we feel (so surely, theres nothing right or wrong with what we feel).. or can we ? But do we need to ?

Ehh yeah, I guess we can. Just that it's not a question of whether we need to, but a question of whether we want to. For eg, you make a decision to be happy and remain positive despite whatever, which you're actually doing yourself a favour, cos I mean, who wants to be unhappy and angry all the time. It's tiring.

Aha sorry. Just that, recent events got me thinking about what Jonathan Safron Foer wrote in his book:

"I feel too much. That's what's going on."
"Do you think one can feel too much? Or just feel in the wrong ways?"
"My insides don't match up with my outsides."
"Do anyone's insides and outsides match up?"
"I don't know. I'm only me."
"Maybe that's what a person's personality is: the difference between the inside and outside."
"But it's worse for me."
"I wonder if everyone thinks it's worse for him."
"Probably. But it really is worse for me."

BTW.
Am ecstatic for those of you getting baptised :D Cant be there physically, but I'm there mentally/emotionally/psychologically/spiritually !

SORRY, A BIT MORBID

Bloom: Do you feel cheated?
Penelope Stamp: The trick to not feeling cheated is to learn how to cheat.

/The Brothers Bloom

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I did the welcome question ystd.
My question was: If you were on a death row, what would your last meal be?
Apparently, it's kinda a dark question to ask for a welcome question hahaha, IS IT.

And I was just thinking on that same night, how would it feel to feel the full impact of being hit by a car going at full speed. Legs first. I wonder if I'd feel the adrenaline rush of flying through the air. I'd probably be too shock to feel anything though. But wld I be too shock to think abt the fact that I'm gna die and all my loved ones and my list of things-to-do-tomorrow or list of things-to-do-before-I-die.

I dont think they'll be very comfortable hearing this.

THIS COULD EAT ME UP ALIVE

Love, of the lasting kind anyway, eluded me during most of my twenties, and by the time I was facing the more (shall we say) well-travelled age of thirty, I had re-concieved my idea of Mr Right, and it sat along notions of Mr Left, Mr B, Mr W and Mr X.

Mr Right was also known as Mr Perfect, The One or Soulmate. I thought of him as the man who met all known criteria. He would thrill you sexually, fulfill you emotionally, complement you spiritually, challenge you intellectually, augment you socio-economically, and enhance you genetically (for procreation, if you were a woman). He would not leave you wanting. Clearly, this person as defined in the strictest sense, in all probability, did not exist, though non-existance could often be confused with elusiveness.

Mr Left was the man who fulfilled or appeared to fulfill all the criteria of Mr Right, but whith whom you just could not get your act together, perhaps because of geography, timing or availability. He tended to be someone with whom you spent long periods of time, with little to show for your efforts and as a result, was someone your friends frequently ended up disliking.

Mr B was someone who was clearly not Mr Right, but was sufficiently well-endowed in at least one of the following for you to engage in a brief tryst or a lingering affair: body/brawn, brain, bank balance, babe factor, bonk rating, basic human goodness. I also thought of him as Mr Right Now even though his appearance might be recurring.

Mr W could be referred to variously as Mr Wrong, Mr What Were You Thinking, Mr What A Total Waste Of Time, Wanker or other names of a similarly derogatory nature. He would often be mistaken for Mr Right, Mr Left or Mr B during the early stages of your encounter, usually as a result of your having inebriated, in some kind of chemically induced stupor, hypnotized, desperately lonely, or in any other state guaranteed to impair your judgement. A liason with Mr W was likely to be characterized by one of more of the following: deception, infidelity, or other betrayal, theft, abuse, or other criminal victimization, complete derision or frustration on the part of your friends. And the aftermath was likely to feature some combination of embarrassment, shame, guilt, denial, self-induced amnesia, therapy, medical help, legal advice, or at the very least utter lack of sympathy on the part of your friends.

Finally there was Mr X. He was the man who would turn out to be your most significant other by the time you reached the end of your humble life. Mr X might not lend himself to any easy identification. He might be unexpected and logic-defying, in the same way that life is unpredictable, and therefore, beautiful. He might one have been a Mr Left, or a Mr B, or none of the above. But it mattered not, because by the time he became Mr X, he would have transcended the banality of labels.

/To Know Where I'm Coming From, Johann S. Lee

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Definitely gna read this book during the Summer holidays.

WHAT IS THIS I DONT EVEN

My eyes are finally drooping, but I think it's about time to wake up and prepare for school already.

Trying to pretend it's still Sunday. And I've got no school tmr.
I dont think it's working.

SOCIALLY AWKWARD PENGUIN

All the time. All the time.

TSDOIFGHOFT!

"You must never feel badly about making mistakes," explained Reason quietly, "as long as you take the trouble to learn from them. For you often learn more by being wrong for the right reasons than you do by being right for the wrong reasons."

/The Phantom Tollbooth, Norton Juster

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Production Social was good, like always (although it's only been my second time). No BBQ in the end due to the weather, but nevertheless, there were good food (by Keong of course), good company, and good conversations. We were talking about the different perceptions guys and girls have towards certain adjectives like pretty, beautiful, cute and ummmm buff. Apparently (according to Kpop), if he says a girl is buff, it's a good thing. But you have to say it like, ooh she's barrrrfff hahahahaha. But no, most girls dont take it as a good thing, cos we associate buff with guys having say, broad shoulders and (usually big and) toned muscular arms etc. So if you say a girl is buff, we have an image of a girl with broad shoulders and (usually big and) toned muscular arms..

Anyhows.
I think I've a problem saying the word thrift. I think I said the word lik ten times to different people today, and no, they dint get what I was trying to say still haha and the thing is, the more I repeat it, the more incoherent it sounds. Like, thrift threeeft trift triffft trifT threefT thhhreeeft?? treeft?! tkaerhgeft? tsdoifghoft!

And I've been sleeping an awful lot recently, but I still wake up feeling sleepy. Too much sleep maybe. But even when I wake up after sleeping for lik 7 hours, I feel so sleepy I go back to sleep for an additional 2-3 hours. And I wake up still feeling so so sleepy D:

BANGBANG

"There is no such thing as an unwritten life, only a badly written one."

Brothers Bloom ♥ ♥ ♥
Love luv lurrrvveee the characters. Music. Story.
Basically, everything. Period.
Took me qte awhile to eliminate and choose just one quote and picture to post here D: Please plz plzxxx go watch it if you can.

Anyhows, did I mention that (since I do not have 200pounds to spend at River Island,) I spent 20pounds at Oxfam today haha thrift shops ftw !

Saw this on BBC.

"Former Tory cabinet minister Michael Portillo tells Radio 4's Any Questions that the public would be puzzled as to why the prime minister - his party having finished second in a general election - should still think he should remain in office. Associate editor of the Times, Daniel Finkelstein, adds that while Harold Wilson was the only prime minister to have been elected four times, Mr Brown would be first to be unelected twice."

Lol.

It's 0439.
And I'm still up, following the GE :o
It actually is qte exciting, but my eyes are getting sleepy already.

I thought I cld survive on just cookies today, but I thought wrong. My stomach felt damn weird, and is only feeling better after consuming beef fried rice. Now I feel like drinking fruit juice.

I did some work today butttttt I m feeling so dead so dead so dead now. I'm actually watching the General Election live online right now, ha ha ha.

And I ALMOST spent 75pounds in CassArt ystd (sho many items on sale, plus 15% off for student card holders :O) but nola, I did not. Just 30pounds. I rly want to buy the silkscreen set (39.95pounds only plz and with my 15% off, it'll be 33pounds k) and the traveller's watercolour set (super portable and damn pwetty can) though :< Ok but now, all I really want is a River Island gift card with say, 200pounds in it. Thats not too much to ask for right ?


Plus, I'm not even going to Nice at the end of May. Or anywhere else.

WORLD AT LARGE

THE CHILDREN OF TIME

January has issues with her mother, February is always talking about things he wants to do while March does them, April eats sweets and May pays for them, June is the oldest but not the wisest and July always has an opinion on everything. August never stops trying do the right thing, even if he doesn't always know what that is. September once saw something so sad, she never stopped crying. October holds the lift for anyone, vice-presidents and street-sweepers alike (for his memory, not for theirs) and November makes fun of him for this. December is tired but always hopeful. He has never once stopped believing.

Monday's obviously a bastard, quite literally as dad can't remember what or who he was doing. Tuesday's temperamental but ok as long as you stay on her good side. Wednesday doesn't say much and Thursday sometimes hums just to break the silence. They're in love. Friday's always wasted and she and Saturday hold each other tightly until their delirium fades.

But Sunday, Sunday knows she's the end. But she closes her eyes, and she pretends with all the strength in her tiny heart that really, she's the dawn.

/I Wrote This For You

BANK HOLIDAY

Don't talk to me like you know me. Talk to me like you love me.
/I Wrote This For You

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Is there a proper English expression for the word chey/cheh/chay ? Where does the word come from anyway..

Anyway. I keep having my feelings cheated by the sky. It's 7pm here already but sure looks like 4pm. And it's not like I've not experienced this before, but still. I keep thinking I've got lots of time cos the night looks like day and the day looks like.. day. HAA TSK.

C'EST INTERESSANT !

Inspiration of the mornight: Motor Homunculus



"This model shows what a man's body would look like if each part grew in proportion to the area of the cortex of the brain concerned with its movement."

On 28 December 1971, Benjamin Goh Joon Kai was born. Ben grew to be a sensitive and obedient child. He very rarely misbehaved, but when he was ten, he was caught playing with his mother's lipstick, and was unapologetic when confronted.

"You always say, love means never having to say you're sorry," he said to Susan. "You love me, right? So why must I say sorry?"

"Ben, that's not what it means," Susan replied. "It means, if you love someone, you shouldn't do anything that you need to say sorry for."

/To Know Where I'm Coming From, Johann S Lee

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Il est une heure. Et j'ai faim.
Mais je suis trop paresseuse faire quoi.