RIP Melissa Toh ♥

I dont know her, but the news of her death really shocked me. I dont know.. but knowing she's my friend's sister, made me think if there was actually anything I (even as a stranger) could have done. I dont know what exactly she went through, and I cant imagine how her family and friends must be feeling right now. The whole thing made me think about my life and the people in it. People I used to be closed to, people whom I cld have known better, people I know now, people who I will meet in the future..

And as I thought about the past, my heart filled with gratitude. To be honest.. I thought of how it could have been me. But thank God that each time at the lowest point of my life then, someone took me seriously and listened, instead of brushing it off as me just kicking up a fuss and being ridiculous, or me having one of those moments again, or me just being young and naive and dont know what life actually is..

I really like what Elizabeth Wurtzel wrote in Prozac Nation,

"And then there are my friends, and they have their own lives. While they like to talk everything through, to analyze and hypothesize, what I really need, what I'm really looking for, is not something I can articulate. It's nonverbal: I need love. I need the thing that happens when your brain shuts off and your heart turns on."

I am really grateful to people who switched their hearts on, people who played a part in making me who I am now (some of whom I'm sadly not closed to now), and people who showed me that God is not just a watchmaker who created the world and cant be reached and known. It is by His grace and love that I am no longer the cynical, always hating the world, and full of anger person I used to be. I dont know if I can always do so all the time, but I will try my best to be the best friend I can ever be to all my friends, the best sister I can ever be to my brothers, and the best daughter I can ever be to my parents.

I have always wanted to tell my family I love them, and finally did so last night. Because being brought up in a typical traditional and conservative Chinese/Asian family, I always lacked the courage to do so. Or maybe it's just pride. In a sense, I want to thank her for telling me how lame and foolish I was to let such excuses get in the way of not telling my loved ones I love them. It's funny how I only realised this after the death of a beautiful young and talented girl. Seriously, life's too short; what better time to tell your loved ones you love them other than now ?

One of the major difficulties Trillian experienced in her relationship with Zaphod was learning to distinguish between him pretending to be stupid just to get people off their guard, pretending to be stupid because he couldn't be bothered to think and wanted someone else to do it for him, pretending to be outrageously stupid to hide the fact that he didn't actually understand what was going on, and really being genuinely stupid.

/The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams

FREE CONE DAY

Instead of singing in the shower I would write out the lyrics of my favorite songs, the ink would turn the water blue or red or green, and the music would run down my legs.

/ Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close, Jonathan Safran Foer

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Current Mood:
I'm only just starting to know and like them, and they're leaving already !

So.
LG today became LG social haha aye. It's more or less the last time Ed and Don are gna join us for LG. Okay, I know this sounds depressing. But it is, no ? Mmkay, mayb depressing's not the word.. more like, um.. okay I cant think of an apt word now. Haha ohwell. So I 'forced' Kpop to organise an out-of-London outing before more people leave (ie Lil). Or at least, before Summer holidays (cos thats when everyone goes home, including me haaa).

Anyhows, I cant believe I actually woke up at 830am today without the help of an alarm, when I slept at 4am ! Good way to start the day, just that I was forcing myself to stay awake during group tutorial. But free B&Js at Leicester Sq with Lil after that totally energised me haha.

Oh yes. I was thinking of typing whatever I type in French/Chinese to practice my French/Chinese haha but thats kind of ambitious :S

今天的小组聚会应该是Ed和Don最后一次了。听起来好沮丧。但的确是件沮丧的事啊。所以呢，我逼了Kpop在其他人（ie Lil) 还没离开之前去举办一个到伦敦外的小组活动！至少在暑假之前 （因很多人通常在暑假回国， 包括我）！ Ok I shall stop here hahahaha I dont know whats 'Anyhows' in Chinese cos thats not even a proper word. Neither is 'Ohwell'. Lmao.

And French ? Mayb when I'm doing Level 2 haha XD

HAHAHAHA

BIEBER BLAST HA !

A LITTLE PECULIAR

I was watching Vanness Wu's testimony at CHC Celebrity Weekend 2009 (I was actually searching youtube videos of him speaking English and dancing hahah), and then I decided to watch Jacelyn Tay's. I dint know she's a cgl :o Their testimonies are quite amazing. Gutted to have missed it.






Bastien is a really good encourager, but he made me realised I really need to find my motivation to master the French language. Hmm, lik, trips to France ? So that I can find Lilian next time.. oh I know, how about a French boyfriend ?

HAPPY THINGS

"Is this the right road for Dictionopolis?" asked Milo, a little bowled over by the effusive greeting.

"Well now, well now, well now," he began again, "I don't know of any wrong road to Dictionopolis, so if this road goes to Dictionopolis at all it must be the right road, and if it doesn't it must be the right road to somewhere else, because there are no wrong roads to anywhere. Do you think it will rain?"

/The Phantom Tollbooth, Norton Juster

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I'm done with Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close, and on to my next book now. The thing is, half of my reserved books came in at the same time and hence, I got to finish them before they are all due on the same date which is nearing. Feels like I'm on some book marathon. But yes, I do enjoy reading. And today I cldnt resist and bought the 9piece McNuggets meal (and got an additional Cheeseburger cos I'm a student yay). Meaning, I spent unnecessary money on unhealthy food, and finished them all like a glutton :( HAIYAR. And I am feeling very uninspired right now. I look at the blank pages and feel like crap. I look at my work and feel like crap. And whats really annoying is that my left eye has been twitching. FOR TWO DAYS. Zz

I shld make a list.

1. Rae and I have finally found a place to stay
2. I bought a new 0.05 drawing pen !
3. Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close is an extremely engaging & incredibly awesome book.
4. My loved ones are alive
5. I am alive
6. I love nuggets
7. And french fries
8. Potatoes ♥
9. Tmr is Saturday
10. I only need to be in college for two days next week
11. Meaning, I can continue doing my work placement (though abit lazy haa)
12. The day after tmr is Sunday
13. My right eye is not twitching
14. I had my hair trimmed
15. It smells nice
16. I painted my toenails
17. The hairstylist said my hair's nice after she first touched my hair
18. Illustrations
19. Music
20. Which reminds me, I think I bought tickets to hear Switchfoot live this June ?
21. Radiohead
22. Classical Music
23. Many compliments on my painted nails
24. Looking through photos of friends and home
25. Developing film
26. Looking back on memories of my own
27. And experiences of my own
28. Finished watching Autumn Concerto
29. This list is getting too long
30. We can be so different but feel so much alike
31. Colours
32. Drawing using pen
33. Being in London
34. Paper
35. Cereals
36. Aglio Olio
37. Porridge and sardine
38. Cheese & _____ toast
39. Clean toilets
40. Baskin Robbins
41. Cupcakes
42. Bubble tea
43. Kueh Seri Muka
44. Laksa
45. I shld stop listing food
46. New paint brushes
47. Orange juice
48. Brooches & rings
49. Mowls (Mug+Bowl)
50. Homecooked food

ONE THING I LIKE ABOUT BIRTHDAYS

He looked so much like me, I could tell that he saw it, too, we shared the smile of recognizing ourselves in each other, how many imposters do I have? Do we all make the same mistakes, or has one of us gotten it right, or even just a bit less wrong, am I the imposter?”

/ Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close, Jonathan Safran Foer

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If not for them,
I'd never have tried smoked haddock at Fishworks, eaten Jap at Tsunami, gone for a morning boat party at Camden, dined at Busaba, been inside On Anon, taken a walk to Boxhill, traveled to Queensway for Chinese, rode a limo, known about Ciao Bella, enjoyed the ambiance of the Nandos at Southwark..

(I'm sure there are more, but it's 2am and I cant think properly)

What if the water that came out of the shower was treated with a chemical that responded to a combination of things, like your heartbeat, and your body temperature, and your brain waves, so that your skin changed color according to your mood? If you were extremely excited your skin would turn green, and if you were angry you’d turn red, obviously, and if you felt like shiitake you’d turn brown, and if you were blue you’d turn blue.

Everyone would know what everyone else felt, and we could be more careful with each other, because you’d never want to tell a person whose skin was purple that you’re angry at her for being late, just like you would want to pat a pink person on the back and tell him, “Congratulations!”

Another reason it would be a good invention is that there are so many times when you know you’re feeling a lot of something, but you don’t know what the something is. Am I frustrated? Am I actually just panicky? And that confusion changes your mood, and it becomes your mood, and you become a confused, gray person. But with the special water, you could look at your orange hands and think, I’m happy! That whole time I was actually happy! What a relief!

/ Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close, Jonathan Safran Foer

Two Awesome Things That Happened Today:
1. No school tmr.
2. No French class tonight.

LOST ?

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I finished reading The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster last night. It turned out to be a children's book. It's marked 'J', meaning Junior. I felt alil silly carrying it ard London, but Mike Myers once said that silly is you in a natural state, and serious is something you have to do until you can get silly again, soo..

I read aloud a few passages from the book to Benj, Jerlene and Jiayi aft church cos they were wondering what in the world am I doing reading a children's book, after which Jerlene exclaimed I cant believe this book's out there masquerading as a children's book. I cant agree more.

"Are we lost?"

"My, my, I know one thing for certain; it's much harder to tell whether you are lost than whether you were lost, for, on many occasions, where you're going is exactly where you are. On the other hand, you often find that where you've been is not at all where you should have gone, and, since it's much more difficult to find your way back from somewhere you've never left, I suggest you go there immediately and then decide."

Very thought stimulating indeed.
I told Jiayi it'd certainly make a good movie. Somewhat like Alice in Wonderland. Then I googled it last night and realised they did make an animation film in 1971.

Anyhows, I'm currently reading Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer, and so far it made me laugh giggled in my room, on the bus, at the bus stop, in class.. And even though I've only read 68pages into it, I'd recommend it (:

NUH-UH YES-HUH

VERY TRUE

All the effort in the world won't matter
if you're not inspired.

/Diary, Chuck Palahniuk

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My tummy's been feeling alil queasy :S

GHOST TRAIN

Ooh. My request on my prev post was (somewhat) answered. Natalie sent the LG a link regarding the upcoming England's election haha it's really qte funny. Read it here.

Cemetery Junction looks and sounds interesting enough for me to want to head down to the cinema if someone else is interested in it too. Ahem (hint also no use, not like anyone from London will read this.. apart from mayb Kellie hahah).

One of my character flaws is that my mind almost nv seem to rest. God knows what I'm thinking about; I always find myself preoccupied with so many thoughts, questioning so many things, and trying to answer the many questions.. when in fact, like what I mentioned before, what I know now is usually what I already need to know. I know it's okay to think, but when there's too much going on in my head, I tend to miss the big picture. And really, more often than not, I get too busy trying to trim all the leaves of the tree, I forgot that as long as the trunk is on good ground and has strong roots, the leaves will naturally grow and be healthy.

CHARLIE BARTLETT

Principal Gardner: Charlie, there are more important things than popularity!
Charlie Bartlett: Like what? Cause I'm seventeen. And right now, popularity's pretty damn important!
Principal Gardner: Like what you do with that popularity

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Since I haven been saying much for a long time, I shall talk about pretty much everything I can think of right now.

SO.
I've been eating too much junk during the holidays, and hence, I'm trying to do sth about it now. And last night at LG, Lil asked me if I was trying to eat healthy after I refused her chips offer. Do I always accept and take chips from ppl it's so easy to tell that I'm trying to eat healthy after turning down just one chip ?!!

Oh yes, my friend Michael has a band which plays good music. Its called Superglue, go listen and support (:

And recently, I've been thinking about the whole 'ppl come and go' thing. I know that that's life. But I'm just feeling it more so recently. Esp after talking to Stephen and finding out that he's probably gna do a phd back in Southampton end of this year or next year. And Don is gna leave for York at the end of this month. And Lil's gna leave in Sept for France ! And then Rae and I realised that after this Summer, the Singaporean population at CCL will be reduced by abt 5ppl. And by next Summer, we'll be left with 4ppl (including me). 3 actually.. till Winter when Rae comes back agn. I mean, of course they'll be new people, but still, you get the idea.

Also, the fact that I really dont know anything about the world is indeed a fact. As in, where's where, the capitals and cities etcetc.. Even in a small country like Singapore, I dont quite know exactly where's where (apart from the red line haha but mayb not anymore, since I've been away and haven exactly take the effort to find out whats gng on back home), so I think I can forgive myself for not knowing where's where in the UK/US/World which are so much bigger. Agree ? And I've always suck in Geography. But then agn, I guess I'm supposed to know cos it's well, common knowledge. But what exactly is common knowledge ? How do you define common knowledge ? Yada, I'm trying to excuse myself for being poorly read. Anyhows, there's also Politics. Something which I'm always slightly interested in, but never quite feeling interested enough to read up on it. And I'll be really happy if someone's willing to tell me everything about it. We can start with the politics in the UK first (since I'm here and the General Election's coming). Then US, and then Singapore. Ok, and now the 'theory' that I am so lazy to do my own reading has just been proven a fact.

And of course, HAPPY BIRTHDAY SILLY GIRL (:



♥

SOMETIMES

I want to know everything. Mayb not everything, but to know enough not to want to know everything else ((ie know what I just want to know). Though I think more often than not, I know enough not to need to know everything. But still. It wld be nice to know enough not to want to know everything. Then again, after knowing enough, I guess I'll want to know more of everything else. Ohwell.

DARLING, YOU'RE STILL DIVINE

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April has barely started and is already making me broke :S Havent been home much, I actually cant wait for Monday. Anyhows, I gave my nails a revamp the other day while watching Ghost World (which you can imagine, dint really had my attention). It was alright.

Oh, but you should watch this:



I've watched this for like the umpteenth time and it still makes me laugh hahah :-) WATCH IT.

And lastly ♥,
Happy (belated) Birthday to my brother WM
& Happy Birthday Andy Tuck !

THROUGH THE TREES

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I think Facebook makes people lazy. Or at least, it makes me lazy. I dont really try and think of an appropriate reply or a funny comment to a wall post or a picture nowadays. All I have to do is click 'Like', and it's self-explanatory. Tsktsk. Shame on you, Wei Lin.

And for those who are wondering how was my trip to Paris. It was fun, but tiring. Like, really tiring. Totally knackered. Suffered from perpetual sleepiness after the trip. Then, Junjie visited London (and I visited Platform 9 3/4 for the first time even though I've been in London for lik a year and a half). And then it was Jo's bday celebration on a boat which was totally awesome and worth waking up early on a Saturday for :D So yes, I've finally recovered today ! And I spent the whole of today watching films to celebrate my recovery. Which is why I'm only blogging today and now. Crap, it's two weeks left before school agn. And I only just started my research. Seriously dnt think I'll ever be ready for working life, school life, whtever life out there. That said, I've got work tmr :( Ohwell. I cant wait to go back Singapore this JULY (take note, thanks) = holidays !

Btw, Edward Scissorhands is a very good film.